Desert BBQ

“Don’t be afraid but there are snakes everywhere,” said our motherly guide, Natalia, as we headed toward our yurt in the Karakum desert outside “The Gates of Hell.” Natalia ignited the Saksaul wood – a dense desert wood that burns for nearly two hours, and gives flavor similar to algarrobo wood from carob tree in Argentina. Even here with the largest natural gas BBQ within sight, the decision was made to grill with real wood. Smart woman. The skewers were silvery, long and well worn. The ground beef mixed with sheep fat clung to the skewers to make heavenly beef kebabs coupled with marinaded chicken and griiled vegetables. A feast that Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great and many others weary travelers enjoyed in this desert straddling Afghanistan and Iran. Tough neighborhood. Natalia is a marvelous guide, and chef supervising every detail but left the grilling to Hudayberdi: “Only men BBQ in Turkmenistan.” I just report the facts from the ground. Sue me. 

Hudayberdi picked us up outside of Ashgabat that morning in a well seasoned Toyota land cruiser heading north 5 hours to Darvasa at “The Gates of Hell.” Along the way we stopped for tribute to the local highway patrol. All normal with pleasantries, smiles and a systematic lubrication that knows no shelf life. Death and taxes. Same as it ever was. The silk road is thriving with renewed vigor oozing kiplingesque exoticism. In 1954 while drilling a natural gas pipeline, a cavern collapsed releasing deadly odorless gas in the Karakum desert. The enginneers were all unhurt but worried about harming nearby grazing livestock, so they decided to light the gas thinking it would burn off in a few days. The engineers were wrong. 70 years later we have the largest highest btu gas grill n the world named “The Gates of Hell.”

We woke early again and headed north to the Uzbekistan border crossing at Khiva – the old walled city. At dinner we discussed how difficult it would be to do this trip with dietary restrictions. Natalia said in Turkmenistan they cannot understand vegetarians as you need meat for stamina and to stay full for a long time as you never know when you will find your next meal. I am still full. I want to comment on the bread. It is dense and closer to the bagel than anything I have ever tried. No doubt Central Asian baking found its way to New York to spawn an empire and make Katz deli famous. Everything we know seems to have started here. It’s that old. Tell me I’m wrong.

I try to stick to 3 paragraphs due to an executive summary habit contracted at business school. As this is a meat travel blog, and most people think it nonsense, I would like to take a moment anyway to honor Mother’s day. Here goes. Ashgabat means literally “place of love.” A loving young couple found freedom in this spot away from their home town that did not approve of their union. The capital of Turkmenistan is now here. Find your place of love. The legend is that the boy who does not feel supported by his village will return to destroy it. This story is as an old one. Our children live their lives and do great things that we cannot imagine. We do not need to agree with the choices. They are not our choices to make. As the famous poet, Kahil Gibran, wrote, paraphrasing here, “Our children pass through us, they do not come from us. They will live in the future. A place where we cannot go.” We prepare them for the future. The world changes. This is not our world anymore. Unless it is truly a matter of health or safety, give your children wings. Do not take away their sky. Love and service. That’s the secret sauce. Happy Mother’s Day. I’d be nowhere without mine. My wife makes it look easy. My daughter is a natural. I have found my place of love.

If you think you have seen it all, (you haven’t), please contact Natalia at Silk Road Travel. [email protected]. Turkmenistan is like nowhere else on earth. Not easy to get there but she will handle all details and find you the best lamb kebabs you’ve ever had and an unparalleled adventure along the silk road. You are welcome.