Apparently, the golf pro shop at the Sonoma Golf Club used to offer rental pants to guests of the Fairmont hotel who presumably vacation without pants. BTW – the club also offers amazing onion rings.
While I was there, it had rained the day before, and the course was not dry. It was kind of a drippy, squishy, mess; after walking the course, I felt like I was wearing mud legwarmers. From the knee up the pants looked great, but from the knee down maybe not so much. That was a problem because Sonoma is a private country club. You can walk off the course looking like a wet rat, but you can’t walk back on. And I needed to do that since I had to have more golf.
Sonoma is Sam Whiting design from 1928 and considered a treasured relic from the golden age of golf course architecture. The course is beautiful and surrounded by amazing views. The backdrop is a tall, lush mountain range framed by budding vineyards; it was a little like being in “A Drinking Song.” And I was so drunk with all the wonderment of a not so bad round, that I didn’t even notice my wet legs until it was too late. The big issue being that I only had one pair pants. Could I clean them in the sink, could the hotel clean them? Was there time? Would the world end?
The other hotel that cannot be missed in Sonoma is the El Dorado, and that is because the rabbit hash there is insane. A lot of people say that you should not eat your pets. I say that rabbits should not be pets. They are too delicious.
That night when we got back from dinner, there were no pants on the bed. The hotel promised me they would be cleaned and dropped off. Frantic, I ran downstairs to inquire about my pants. After a lengthy exchange they offered to rent me a pair. They told me that when the pro shop opens in the morning, they would secure a pair of pants for me, and they would pay the rental fee. I thanked them and went to bed. The next morning, I found my pants in the closet and called down to the reception to apologize. But they beat me to it. They said that the pro shop had stopped renting pants, and that the hotel would buy me new pants.
Now there was a quandary. I was not going to commit an ethical lapse for rental pants. But a free pair of new pants; Travis Matthews no less. Lost in thought, the line was silent, then the clerk asked if I was still there. I was there, looking at the mountains.